Week of 7/8/09

Another week has passed, another bunch of comic books have been written, and more covers are offensive. It is time for the

Five most offensive comic book covers for the week of 7/8/09

5. X-Men: Legacy #226

I was watching X-Men: The Last Stand on TV the other day, and Rogue was a teenager. If she had big breasts, they weren't emphasized in the movie, because I certainly didn't notice them. So I guess the point of this cover is that she's all grown up now, and so are her breasts.

"Check 'em out, boys!" That's what I imagine she's saying.

I'm sure someone out there is going to object: 'But she's just standing there," they're going to say. "Why, she's even wearing pants! And you can't see her butt! I don't know what you're complaining about."

To which I reply that, unless her superpower is to shoot rays out of her breasts, there is no reason for her to fling open her cape and arch her back, sticking them out for all to ogle. That's not even a combat pose, unless like Batman that's where she keeps her bulletproof armor and she's hoping to get shot there.

Ouch.

4. X-Men Forever #3

Did I mention that I just saw X-Men: The Last Stand on TV the other day? Well, I did, and one thing I didn't notice was Kitty Pryde's breasts. She was still a teenager in that movie, and if she had big breasts, they weren't emphasized, because I sure didn't notice them... er... somehow I'm getting deja vu here.

If you're a long-time X-Men reader, you'll be familiar with some of the previous artistic incarnations Kitty's gone through, like this one:



...and this one:



Hmm, you know, I think that Ellen Page actually has smaller breasts than any of the previous incarnations of Kitty.



Something tells me that superhero artists need to study up on female anatomy a little more.

But the key thing here is that in all those previous drawings, and in the movie, whatever the size of her breasts, she seems to have worn a modest costume that didn't show them off and make them look like mortar shells.

Also, she doesn't seem to usually stand with her hips cocked at a crazy angle.

3. Street Fighter II Turbo #7 B Cvr Wang

I know nothing at all about Street Fighter Turbo except that it's based in some way on a game. Whether the game it's based on features a mostly undressed woman lounging back in an awkward position, playing with handcuffs, I could not tell you.

Regardless of whether or not the various scenes montaged onto this cover are lifted from the video game, I can't see any reason to depict two guys in the midst of battle, and one woman looking like a hooker who specializes in S & M. Don't the women in the Street Fighter video game fight? Surely they do. So why isn't she fighting? And why isn't she wearing pants? And why do her shorts look like they've eroded away to almost nothing? And why is she wearing a bra with no shirt?

This kind of sexism is even more offensive than what we get on those X-Men covers above. On those the artist has objectified the woman's breasts; on this, the artist has objectified the entire woman.

2. Ms. Marvel #41

Marvel is having a good week. And a good week for Marvel is a good week for protruding breasts.

What really sets this cover apart-- and I won't pretend that I know why there are two Ms. Marvels, one in red and one in black-- what really sets this cover apart isn't red Ms. Marvel's breasts sticking forward (and note that she does Rogue one better; not just arching her back, but throwing her shoulders back as well, to achieve maximum breast protrusion). No, the thing that really sets this cover apart is that while red Ms. Marvel is sticking her breasts out, she's standing on black Ms. Marvel's throat and chin!

It's violence against women and breasts being stuck out, all at once.

And I'm not quite sure what dimension red Ms. Marvel's foot has slipped into, but she's somehow stomping black Ms. Marvel's throat in such a way that it's making black Ms. Marvel's right breast stick up even though she's lying on her back!



It's like red Ms. Marvel is standing on a bicycle pump or something. And black Ms. Marvel's breast is the innertube.

I know, that metaphor doesn't make sense. Yet that appears to be what's depicted.

1. President Evil

Oh, my goodness. Comics just seem to looooove Barack Obama. And by 'love' I mean 'want to denigrate.'

To be fair, this is not nearly so bad as the Devil's Due comic from two weeks ago. Not because the cover is particularly better but because there's no interior preview of this comic from Antarctic Press, so I can't tell if the story involves demons telling Barack that they want his ass.

What is up with comic book writers pitting Barack Obama against demons, anyway? And should I comment on the fact that for some reason the cover is a parody of Army of Darkness but the title is a parody of Resident Evil? Surely David Hutchison knows the difference between Bruce Campbell and Milla Jovovich...?

In case he doesn't: Ash is the one with one hand and one chainsaw-hand. Alice is the one in a red dress. There, that should clarify.

Honorable mention:

Yeah, because that cover was just so damn good, Devil's Due couldn't let it go. Now it is an offensive poster. Nice.